For Your Average Genius: October 2004

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Kerry: Bush rushes to war too slow

Today the Kerry campaign ran an ad criticizing President Bush for not stopping Saddam from hiding some 380 tons of his explosives prior to the US invasion of Iraq.

Kerry: It is the wrong war, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. The right time would have been to go sooner or later, depending on whichever decision would get you to vote for me.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

JFK versus jfk: let's lower the case for Kerry

I was reading something online recently where the writer used the initials JFK in reference to Kerry. In my first reading of the post, I mistakenly plugged in John F. Kennedy's name.

Because despite Senator Kerry's unfortunate initials, there is only one 'JFK.!'
Kerry isn't even a virtual JFK in the minds of us who recall the real one.

Maybe from now on, we could start using lower case letters for the fake jfk. That way we will all know who it is we are talking about, and be giving jfk the appropriate amount of respect.

Please, spread the word and lets start using lower case right away.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Kerry's box-cutter compliment

As for Kerry's "Mary Cheney is a lesbian" debacle, one of the reasons his velvet swill has exploded back on him might be the yuck factor. To be sure, Kerry tried to pretty up his box-cutter compliment with a satin bow.

But our ears can detect odor as well as sound in some cases. This was one of those instances. Kerry's ofal just didn't pass the smell test.

So we rejected the sound of Kerry's oratory because the odor lingers. Will this damage his chances of being elected? Let me answer that question in this manner: in a way, Kerry has bad breath, which is not a winning trait in a would-be leader.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Kerry: those darn nuisance beheadings!!

I am willing to live with a nuisance, aren't you? Kinda like having a serial killer as a neighbor.

Every once in a while, that crazy old guy down the street kidnaps, tortures and kills a young woman -- man, is that a nuisance!

PS. Kerry told the NY Times today he wants to reduce Islamic terrorism to a nuisance level. How suitcase nuclear bombs -- supplied by Kerry's uranium handout -- being detonated in several US cities is supposed to be considered a nuisance was not explained. But apparently Kerry, has a [unspecified, nebulous] plan.

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Saturday, October 09, 2004

Kerry's Latest 'Plans'

I'm John Kerry. I have a better plan. For example:

1- I plan to provide Iran with nuclear fuel.

2- I plan to support taxpayer funded abortions.

3- I plan to subject this nation's security to a global test.

4- I plan to stop our military from building any bunker busting bombs. [See plan #1.]

5- I plan to oppose any amendment that defines marriage.

6- I plan to find Osama bin Laden, so long as it passes my global test.

7- I plan to hold a summit if Iran fails to keep its part of the nuclear fuel bargain. [See plan #4.]

8- I plan look into my 20 year career as a Senator to see if I've ever tried to impliment any of these grand plans before.

9- I plan to return my magic hat to the CIA agent I invented out of whole cloth.

10- I plan to increase spending for Intelligence, unlike what I did when I was a Senator for 20 years, to help carry out plan #6, so long as it passes my global test.

11- I plan to increase spending for summits.

12- I plan to free Russia, China, South Korea, and Japan from our multilateral talks with N. Korea, so they can join multi-lateral summits with Iran should Iran fail to comply with my uranium deal.

13- I plan, in keeping with Bush's tradition to visit hurricane victims in Florida, if I am still alive, to visit every city destroyed by a suitcase bomb manufactured in Iran.

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Friday, October 08, 2004

Today's Salient Poll Question

Do you support providing Iran with Uranium?

1- Yeah, blow me up!

2- What's uranium?

3- I am a normal person with a pulse, so hell no!

So why in the world didn't Bush make this issue the centerpiece of tonight's debate??

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Who in the US supports providing Uranium to Iran?

How -- with a platform to provide uranium to Iran -- can Kerry even be running for president?

Maybe someone ought to conduct a national poll with one question:

"Are you for or against supplying Iran with uranium?"

I'd like to see the percentages on that one.

I can think of only one person who would vote for it.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Headline Circa 2006: Iran Flunks Global Test

If I ran for student body president on a "Uranium for Iran" platform, what would my prospects be? The answer ought to be fairly self evident. The only votes I'd get would be from crack-smoking winos.

So how is it possible that we have a candidate running for President of the United States on that platform? And why hasn't the US media fried Kerry for this third-grade proposal until he is past burnt orange in color?

And how is it possible that the US has sunk so low in its critical thinking that "Uranium for Iran" won't produce a 95% to 5% defeat for Kerry?

Even Ralph Nader, who has some loopy ideas, hasn't advocated arming the enemy like Kerry is doing.

If Kerry were to win (maybe with voter fraud?) there might be suitcase atomic bombs exploding in 20 large US cities.

I can hear Kerry now, "But that doesn't pass the global test."

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Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Did VP Cheney miss an opportunity?

When Gwen Ifil asked Vice-President Cheney to tell the American people why he was qualified to be a candidate for Vice President, he took the bait (as did Edwards.)

Thanks for playing, but ...

...the correct answer for Cheney was as follows:

"I fully trust that the American people can make that decision without any self-serving comments from me. I have been honored to witness the President respond on a daily basis to the critical challenges America has faced since before the 9/11 War began. So it is a much greater concern to me who will be filling that role as President for the next four years.

"Senator Kerry has promised to provide the nuclear material to Iran that could be subverted and converted into an atomic suitcase bomb. Tonight there is at least one terrorist, maybe hundreds, who would gladly set that atomic bomb off in a city near you.

"I am confident that the dads and moms of America do not want to take that risk. The wide-eyed proposal of Senator Kerry is the wrong idea at the wrong time -- with the wrong nation.

"I can promise you that our president will NEVER risk giving nuclear material to a terrorist nation such as Iran."

That answer would have gone a long way in framing the final weeks of the race where it ought to be focused: on the critical issue of the safety of America's families.

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Why we MUST have universal health care coverage

Because if Kerry is elected he's going to give Iran nuclear material, and he's gonna cancel the nuclear bunker buster bomb.

So if Iran cheats and mass-produces suitcase bombs, there will be a lot of poor American women and children who will desperately need health care for their radiation burns.